How To Feel Supported As a Mom

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Do you ever feel like you, as a woman, are wandering somewhat alone? In this day and age of the Supermom, I certainly feel it from time to time. All the "mom competitions" of whose child walked first, whose kid is on medication, who doesn't discipline their kids the "right way." We, as moms, tend to do a lot of one-upmanship. We need to be all things to everyone and admitting that we have faults or weaknesses in our parenting, our relationships, or ourselves is like admitting defeat. And it is hard keeping up that farce.

We all are human. We are just like any other mom out there...

Many societies have ways that moms pull together, be it gathering wood for a fire, making dinner for the village or walking to the fresh water supply.

Our ancestors did it through sewing circles, bridge groups and neighborhood parties. Times that they could gather together and discuss their troubles and issues and get good advice from good friends.

What is a girl to do today though? Well, my answer was to start a support group. And I encourage you to do the same. Find a group of women (probably no more than 10 of them) who you respect and start meeting once a month. You'll be surprised at how easy it really is... and how much you look forward to that time together.

The group I created (which is loosely based off a now out-of print Christian curriculum) is divided into 3 sections: improving ourselves as women, as wives and as mothers with a book corresponding to each section. This year we read The New Messies Manual, The Five Love Languages, How to Really Love Your Child and Honey for a Child's Heart.

I came up with study guides to accompany each book as talking points for our group. But once the conversations start that's when the real talking begins. I now feel like I have a group of 8 women I can turn to in any situation life throws at me. We have been real and we have been honest. We have cried and we have laughed till our sides hurt. But that is what it should be about. Right now we're reading books on toddlers, but our goal is that years from now we'll be reading books about taking the SATs and eventually dealing with an empty nest. Our hope is that we can stand each other up in times of need and celebrate together in times of great joy over the course of many years. 

Here's a little snippet of our group's goals:
Do you have that as a mom? If you don't, you need it. You may not know it now, but you do. I am happy to send you our first year curriculum so you can modify it and print it out. Feel free to email me or comment on this post if that's something you think you'd like or if you want more information on how to start your own group. 

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